How to get your life back after "HE" cheats

What Cheating does to you

Often, a woman's life is wrapped around the man she loves. She cooks for him, she cleans for him, she is there at his beckoning call, doing all the things that a woman does for her man.

Then comes the time when you find out that he is cheating on you!

You start to look at yourself differently and wonder what is wrong with you. Your self esteem flies right out the door with his sorry butt.

You begin to question and degrade yourself.

1. Why not me?
2. Why her?
3. What did I do wrong?
4. What can I do to fix it?
5. I am ugly!
6. I am fat!
7. I'm not good enough in bed!

I will be providing an answer to the above in a moment, but right now you need to STOP!

First and foremost, it is not your fault, it's "HIS" fault. He is weak and you are strong. He gave in to the temptation that most men experience at least once in their lifetime, yet only the weak ones give in to.

He is a weak man that you, in fact, did love. Time to close the door on that love, honey. He doesn't deserve your love. You don't deserve to be cheated on and lied to.

The answers;

1. Because you deserve better!
2. Because "that's all he can get"!
3. Nothing, he wanted to have his cake and eat it too!
4. Don't try, He is NOT worth it!
5. No you aren't, but he wants you to think you are!
6. He just wants you to think that you can't get anyone else.
7. Apparently you are or he would have left before he got caught!

His Excuses for Cheating

Let me see if I can get a few of these down for you.

Your version: You have something to discuss with him daily when he gets home from work and you do.

His Version: I am tired of hearing you gripe everyday.

Summary: He doesn't care what you have to say about anything and doesn't want to hear it so he'll call it griping when, in fact, you are just trying to have a conversation with him.

Your Version: You stay home and don't work because that is what he wants. You stay home to clean, cook, mow the grass, take out the trash and everything else that needs to be done. You even become quite handy at household repairs that he would have normally had to do. When he gets home, his only conversation with you is, "What's for dinner and when will it be ready"?

His Version: Her fat, lazy butt just sits around all day watching tv. She won't even get a job.

Summary: He has told you to stay at home and take care of the house and his needs so he has had to come up with "good" reasons (in his own mind) to justify what he has done. There is no justification!

This is how he brings you down and makes you lose your self esteem. I am sure that you can do this kind of comparison yourself with the things that he has said to you and you will see that he is full of it!

Henry Ward Beecher
The real man is one who always finds excuses for others, but never excuses himself.

Benjamin Franklin
He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.

Do you really want to live with a cheater?

Do you really want to live the rest of your life with "what's his name"?

Remember that you will never trust him again! You will be suspicious of everything he does. You will be smelling clothes for a scent of perfume that you don't use. You will be checking pockets for phone numbers. You will go through things looking for signs of an affair.

A life with someone you can never trust again does not sound like happily ever after to me! It sounds like another way for him to remove any self esteem that you have left as well as making you paranoid and miserable "FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE".

You will always have what happened in the back of your mind, no matter how hard you try not to.

Your Excuses Not to Move On

You probably have many excuses as to why you can not move on. Let me see if I can correctly put some of them down here.

1. I'm too old to find someone else (Nonsense, my grandfather found someone else in his 60's, as well as a few other people I know)
2. We have so many years invested in our marriage (No you invested years, not him)
3. I love him (He doesn't love you and love is a two way street)
4. I miss him (You miss the person you thought he was. He has shown you who he really is. Do you love that person? NO!)
5. We had so many good times (They were a lie! He did those things so that you would not suspect he was cheating!)

Let's get real here, stop making excuses and move on with your life because "HE" has! Don't give him the satisfaction of wasting the rest of your life waiting for "HIM" to realize "HE" loves you. He would love it, but you would be a sad and lonely person. Also, a person knows when they are in love and they don't have to "realize" it.

No more excuses!

Erica Jong
The trick is not how much pain you feel but how much joy you feel. Any idiot can feel pain. Life is full of excuses to feel pain, excuses not to live; excuses, excuses, excuses.

Greg Hickman
Don't make excuses, make something incredible happen in your life right now.

Moving on after he cheats

Time to pick yourself up and brush "HIM" off! No more time should be wasted feeling bad because of "HIM". As long as you sit around moping and feeling sorry for yourself, you are still letting "HIM" control your life even though he is no longer a part of it.

DO NOT let "HIM" control your life any longer!

• Get rid of "HIS" things that he left behind to torment you. Give them away, throw them away, but get rid of them now. Do not call him to see if he wants them because if he did, he would have taken these things with him. Anything that you must keep, put in a box and store it in the attic or basement. Give important things to your children, if they are grown or put them in a box too. Your home is your space now and you need to make it yours. You do not need reminders of him anywhere! No pictures left out of him either! You do not need the reminder of "HIM". Your home is no longer a storage facility for "HIS" stuff.
• Get a new hairstyle or color.
• Buy yourself something for a change, like a new outfit.
• Get out of the house!
• Join a club or take a college course about anything you are interested in. There are many fun things to do and learn. Colleges now offer many one day classes teaching you how to do many things.
• Go out with your friends. Whether it is shopping, to the movies or to a club/bar.
• Make new friends.
• Join a gym - Working out relieves a lot of frustration!
• Socialize!
• Do something you always wanted to do. There is no one to stop you now!
• Socialize!
• Find a support group - there are so many of them now, there must be one for you.

The more people that you surround yourself with, the better! Soon "What's his name" will be what he should be, a memory! The key is to keep yourself busy.

Although I know that you do not want to hear this, someone who will treat you right will come along when you least expect it.

It is really true, as I can remember a time when people told me that and I said "Yeah Right". Well they were right and so am I when I tell you that it "WILL" happen! You will not be alone forever and you will grow as a person, your own person.

Note

This is for and about the womans side of moving on after being cheated on and is not meant in a bad way towards men. In fact, this advice may be true when the woman is the cheater, but being a woman myself, it would be hard for me to write this from a mans point of view.

Open the shades and turn on the lights, there is life out there.